Seeking God in the Wilderness We Call Life

When people think of Easter, they think of Easter baskets, Easter Eggs, Chocolate Bunnies, Chocolate eggs, Dying Hard Boiled Eggs. But how many of us remember/know what the True meaning of Easter is?

In Matthew chapter 27: verses 1 – 54; Mark chapter 15: verses 1 – 40; Luke chapter 23 verses 1 – 48; and John chapter 19: verses 1 – 30. Each of these books in the Bible tell the Crucifixion story of Jesus’s life. His death became our saving grace. These chapters talk about Jesus’s capture and Him being taken to Pontius Pilate. According to my study Bible, “Pontius Pilate was the man in charge of Judea. Pilate was not a Jew. He was a Roman. He was the only one that could decide that Jesus should be put to death. Pilate asked Jesus to defend himself. Jesus did not say a word. Pilate knew Jesus was innocent. But he was afraid of the people and was not brave enough to let Jesus go. He let the people have their way. He told his soldiers to crucify Jesus.”

The thing is this was already set in stone the day Jesus came to be in Mary’s womb. God’s plan was to give us the salvation we needed to be able to live with Him in Heaven for eternity. One question I have always wondered about was……how hard was it for God to give up His only son for death to save all of humanity souls? It was hard for Abraham, but he still knew he had to do it. Look at the story of Jobe, He lost everything but still praised God. So why do I make these points? To relate? Or to show that even throughout history in the Bible the father’s love is always constant.

Jesus is the purest form of humanity. He came to teach and to reach the lost and broken. Part of his reaching the lost and broken was to die for them. Jesus crucifixion was the start of our way to heaven. Without Jesus’s death on the cross could we as humans have a way to live with God for eternity once we die? The answer to that is NO. John 3:16 “God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.”

The next part to this is the Resurrection of Jesus. Matthew chapter 28, Mark chapter 16, Luke chapter 24 and John chapter 20, all recount through the eyes of the prophets Jesus’s resurrection. After three days of his death, the tomb stone moved and Jesus was nowhere to be found inside. Where had he gone? The bandages and rags were still there but his physical body was not. So where had Jesus gone? One of my favorite parts of the resurrection story is based out of John chapter 20: verse 10 – 17; “Then the disciples went back to their homes. But Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she cried, she bent over to look into the tomb. She saw two angels dressed in white. They were seated where Jesus’ body had been. One of them was where Jesus’ head had been laid. The other sat where his feet had been placed. They asked her, ‘Woman, why are you crying?’ ‘They have taken my Lord away,’ she said. ‘I don’t know where they have put him.’ Then she turned around and saw Jesus standing there. But she didn’t realize it that is was Jesus. ‘Women,’ he said, ‘why are you crying? Who are you looking for?’ She thought it was the gardener. So she said, ‘Sir, did you carry him away? Tell me where you put him. Then I will go and get him.’

Pause for a minute here. Does anyone know why this was such a significant thing for Mary? After a year ( of the body of the deceased family member being in the tombs) the family members would go and get the bones from the tomb. They would put the bones into an Ossuary (or a small funerary box) and place them in the back of the tomb with the other boxes of similar nature. This allowed for future generations to be laid to rest in the same place as their loved ones. Without the bones or the body of Jesus Mary couldn’t put the bones in the box to lay to rest in the tomb because there were none.

John chapter 20 verse 16; Jesus said to her, ‘Mary.’ She turned toward him. Then she cried out in Aramaic language, ‘Raboni!’ Raboni means Teacher. Jesus said, ‘Do not hold onto me, I have not returned to the Father. (check out the blog post coming up to see my thoughts as to why Jesus said this to Mary) Instead, go to those who believe in me. Tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father, my God and your God.'”

I will leave off with this verse; John chapter 17 verses 1-5: “After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed. He said, ‘Father the time has come. Bring glory to your Son. Then your Son will bring glory to you. You gave him authority over all people. He gives eternal life to all those you have given him. ‘And what is eternal life?’ It is knowing you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth. I have finished the work you gave me to do. So now, Father, give glory to me the glory I had with you before the world began.”

This is the reason we celebrate Easter. The Life, The Death, and the Life again of Jesus Christ. Whom said it best, “And what is Eternal Life? IT IS KNOWING YOU, THE ONE TRUE GOD, AND JESUS CHRIST, WHOM YOU HAVE SENT.”

Hello Again,

The subject of trama is not an easy subject to talk about. At one point in someones life they may have gone through some form of trama; even if they may not realize it at the time. There are a bunch of different side effects that trama can create. This discussion is going to be touching on those effects and how to use scripture to help start the healing process, or to help if the process has already been started.

Some of the things I would say ( mind you this is my own opinion nothing medical can prove any of this. It is based off personal experience only) are side effects of trama are; Fear, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Suicide, feeling of being a burden, feeling of being alone, feeling like no one cares about them, or the feeling of being overwhelmed in situations. I believe each one of these plays a role in the after effects of trama. It doesn’t matter if the trama is small or big; trama is trama and we have all had our own version of trama. Everyone acts differently to trama but the one thing that remains the same is the Scripture. It is the one thing that is constant and we can always refer back to it in times of need, in times of doubt, in times of trama, or at anytime in our life that we chose to read it.

I will share one trama that only two people know about; my sister in law and my roommate at the time. This is going to sound crazy to some and not crazy to others. When I was a freshman in college I lived in a duplex with two other golf teammates. The Sophmore in our duplex got the master bed and bath and so me and the other freshman in the house got the other two rooms at the front of the duplex. Guys, this is extremely hard for me to write about so bare with me please……………. Okay, here we go……. I do not know what time this happened but I do know it was in the wee hours of the early morning. I woke up (I could see the moon through the blinds at my window, Clear sky from what I could see from my angle), I couldn’t move my head or my body. No matter how hard I tried to move my arms or to sit up my body would not budge, it felt like I was being pinned to the bed, like someone (or something) was on top of me holding me down. I couldn’t see anything because my door was closed and even though the blinds were open, it was only slightly; not enough to shine enough light in the room to see. Then (this is where is starts to get freaky and crazy) the next feeling was that of someone or something choking me. It felt like hands were wrapped around my neck, squeezing it, and I couldn’t breathe. For a moment, sit there and try to imagine this…….You are laying on your bed, unable to move no matter how much you try, not being able to breathe because it feels like someone is choking you………Not very pleasant imagery is it. This is one of my tramas. The reason why some may think this is crazy is because there are still those that do not believe in entities, demons, or angels. I was one of those that didn’t think they were real. I knew of them but didn’t think they were real, until this event. Whether anyone believes this or not it did happen and it is an experience for me that was very tramatic. But through scripture, prayer, and counsel with God, with friends, with family (or a family member), or a pastor; I have been able to work on how that trama effected me. Think about trama in your life, sometimes we do not know that we have been through trama until we stop and think about it.

Through my experiences I have watched people go through abusive relationships; physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. That is trama, death is trama, seeing it, watching it happen, being right there; it is all trama. It is not something you can’t just deal with over night, and it is hard for some to deal with it. Not everyone knows how. Below are just a few scriptures that I use myself or fall back on in times that I need reassurance. They have helped me in my journey of recovery, of finding myself again, of learning to let go, learning to believe and have faith again, hope in a future, and knowing even when I feel alone physically, I am never alone spiritually.

FEAR:

Deuteronomy 31:6, ” Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never LEAVE you nor FORSAKE you. ”

Isaiah 41:10, ” So do not feat, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will STRENGTHEN you and HELP you; I will UPHOLD you with my RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND. “

Isaiah 54:14, ” I am far from oppression, and I will NOT live in FEAR.”

Anxiety (this can also pertain to PTSD, Depression and many others):

Philippians 4:6-7, ” Do not be ANXIOUS about ANYTHING, but in EVERY situation, by PRAYER and PETITION, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. “

1 Peter 5:7, ” Cast all your ANXIETY on Him, because He cares for you. “

Matthew 11:28-30, ” Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you REST. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will FIND REST for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ”

Never Alone:

Psalm 145: 18-19, ” The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who FEAR Him; He HEARS their cry and SAVES them. “

These are just a few scriptures that offer peace and rest when dealing with the effects of our own trama. These verses often come to thought when I feel stressed, scared, overwhelmed, or anxious. They have helped me regain my footing in who I am in Christ and who I am as a person. I will not let the trama of my past dictate my future, I will overcome this with Christ by my side. I now know I am never truly alone even at the times I am at my lowest and feel like I am alone.

Hopefully this will help someone or anyone that may be dealing with the effects of their trama.

Well hey everyone. I know its been some time since I have been active on here with my blogs. I decided to get back into it again and try it. I have found a recent love for writing (because I am always talking things out loud to myself, when I could be writing about it) and what better way to start up again than on here. Weather anyone actually reads these or not, hahaha who cares. Here is another blog and this one is on Faith.

A lot of people including myself struggle with this word FAITH and the meaning behind the word. What does Faith mean to you? Take a few minutes think about it, then come back to this post…..see if your answer is similar to mine? We all have different opinions as to what faith is….so what is it to you?

By definition Faith is having complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Looking at faith in our every day lives we put a lot of faith and trust in material things and people. When we get into the car to go drive somewhere we are putting our faith and trust in the vehicle (that it will get us safely from point A to point B), as well as the other drivers (hoping no one hits you while you are out driving). At work we put our trust and faith in our colleagues or coworkers to help get the job(s) done. With the foods we eat. We have faith that the food we buy and cook is going to be nourishment for our bodies.

Okay so lets now look at Faith from a religious perspective. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Christian (like myself) who has Faith in God, a spiritualist that has faith in the universe, Satanist who has faith in Satan, a Buddhist who has faith in Buddha, or the Islamic, Arabic, Muslim people who have faith in Allah. Everyone has faith in something. However in this blog I am going to be touching to the one faith I know best, my own Christian faith. Maybe in the blogs to come I can touch on the other beliefs/faiths. I do not know enough about the other areas of faith as I could be or should be to be able to write about it properly with truth.

To me faith is hope and believing in the unseen. “Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it don’t exist.” I have Faith/Hope that one day when I am finally free of this world, I will be in a grand place filled with joy, laughter, peace, and God Himself. I have faith that one day I will be reunited with the one who created me, and be reunited with all my loved ones that have passed on before me. Some might ask why I have this kind of Faith, this kind of belief in something or someone I have never seen physically? Well here’s one answer, I may not have physically seen God, but I can feel His presence/His essence if you want to call it that. I am able to do this for two reasons; Reason 1, Through the Holy Spirit I have a spiritual connection with God. Reason 2, I am an empath. Not many people know what this is. An empath is someone who is able to literally feel and take on other poeple’s feelings as if they are experiencing those feelings themselves. So when the Holy Spirit is near I can Literally feel/sense His presence.

Back to the topic; Faith. A verse that has really stuck out to me is one that I had recently found in the past 6 months. This verse is Hebrews 11:1, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for. It is being certain of what we do not see.” I have struggled and struggled with my faith for years. A long time ago people would ask me; “how are you so strong in your faith? How do you maintain your faith and not falter?” Truth is guys, I was struggling so much and so hard with my faith at that time, but I put on a GOOD SHOW. I put on “The MASK OF LIFE”. Everyone has one at one point in their life. They put on the mask to hide everything so people don’t worry about them, So people don’t have to ask if they are alright, so people don’t have to feel sorry for them. I am in no way shape or form a perfect person, that includes my walk with Christ, and my faith. I have had my fair share of struggles that have made me question God and my Faith several times. But you know what it did in return? Ponder on that for a minute.

What going through the struggles did for me? (this is something that took me years to realize) Going through those struggles, questioning If God was real, If God ever heard my cries, If God ever heard my complaints, If God really made me, Did God really create everything out of nothing? All of these questions someone at one point in their life has asked these same questions….because of struggles that everyone has gone through. We think we have hit our lowest during these times because that is what we are made to believe by the one that comes to steal, kill, and destroy. In reality my faith has been made stronger through these struggles. YES! God is real, YES! God hears my (your) cries, YES! God hears my (your) complaints, YES God created everything out of nothingness. YES! YES! YES! GOD MADE ME (YOU)!

Psalm 40: 1-4; “(1) I was patient while I waited for the Lord. He turned to me and heard MY CRY FOR HELP. (2) I was sliding down into the pit of death, and he pulled me out. He brought me up out of the mud and dirt. He set my feet on a rock. He gave me a firm place to stand. (3) He gave me a new song to sing. It is a hymn of praise to our God. Many people what he has done and will worship him. They will put their trust in the LORD. (4) Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. He doesn’t look to proud people for help, He doesn’t turn away to worship statues of gods.”

Faith is choosing to believe and choosing to have hope in something you can not see physically!

What is power? What is strength?

Power is privilege and right, it comes from God and His word; John 1:1.

Strength is support, power of residence, that which supplies strength; Psalm 46.

We as humans may struggle as to what and where we find these items. A lot of the time when we think of strength we think of physical strength (you are so strong) not spiritual strength and that is the same way with power. When we think of power we think in the physical content not the spiritual content. Do you struggle with where your spiritual strength and spiritual power come from? If the answer is yes, well guess what you aren’t alone. A bunch of people are like you and also struggle with these two aspects spiritually rather than physically.

When we lose sight of where our power and strength come from we fall for the traps that Satan sets for us. Some might fall into despair (depression) and honestly feel like there is no way out at all. They start believing all the lies that are planted by the Devil. You aren’t good enough, you can always do better, no one loves you, etc. It may get so bad that they start to believe that no one would even notice if they went and disappeared or killed themselves. They fall and fall and kept falling, believing that there is not hope for them. When they get to this point in some sense they have lost their spiritual power and spiritual strength as well as their physical power and strength to live. If this is you, guess what there is hope, there is a way out, and you aren’t alone. There are and have been people that have gone through this or are going through this, but there is hope.

What better way for you to understand than to give a personal story of this. For those of you that know me (the person writing this blog), what you are about to read maybe a bit shocking and hard to believe, but all the events from here on out are very true and very real.

I don’t exactly know where to begin so I am going to start where I started to lose my relationship with God and Satan started taking hold on my life, my heart, and me. It was the end of my senior year in high school and I had the summer to prepare for leaving for college. I didn’t know what to expect going into college and I was already nervous. Well that same summer my family and I left the church that I had grown up in all my life and we started church hoping.  After we left I couldn’t get comfortable in another church and didn’t even want to go. My mom tried and tried to get me to go and succeeded most of the time. I just started to not care, I wanted to leave home to get away from being “forced” (not really but it felt like it) to go to church.

Then it finally came time to leave for college I was excited. I would finally get away from having to go to church and do things that I really didn’t want to do. Got a few weeks into the semester and already my team captain didn’t like me. She made my life a living h***, along with two other girls on my golf team. I cared but didn’t care, if that makes sense. Well as time went on college life got harder, golf got more and more depressing, and I was also dealing with sister and best friend issues from 2.5 hours away. I just couldn’t take it anymore but I still acted like it was okay. I didn’t want anyone to know I was struggling, and that I was faking (aka lying to them) that I was okay. I found a church up near where I lived and occasionally I would walk to it and go. The days I did go the messages that the preacher preached on hit me and hit me hard but I didn’t want to listen or believe them. I kept going through life trying to pretend everything was okay. Then one day it seemed like everything went south in a heart beat.

I got accused of opening my mouth and saying something that I shouldn’t have, I got yelled at by my team captain and one of my other teammates, I was stressed out about my grades and about golf. I was also dealing with family drama and at that point I was done. I broke so hard. I got so depressed and hated golf and my life. I didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to and in all reality I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems. I started to get the thoughts of would anyone really miss me if I just up and died. No one cares about me, no one loves me, these people I call friends are not my friends. I kept lying to my parents telling them everything was alright because I didn’t want them to worry about me. I felt so alone, I didn’t have any friends and I felt like I couldn’t talk to God anymore, I was so ashamed of myself. I had lost sight of who I was in God’s eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore I wanted everything to end and to stop. I wanted all the bullying to stop, I want my life to end. Then and only then could I find peace and quiet. One night I got a bunch of ibuprofen pills, because I wanted to die, I wanted to kill myself because I had lost my hope, my power and strength to continue fighting. I had fallen so far from God and didn’t think He wanted me back. To me killing myself was the only way out.

These were all lies and feelings that Satan had been using on me. He found his way into my heart, my mind, and my soul. I had forgotten how to fight him.

Luckily that night that I wanted to die, something stopped me. I had this weird feeling and I just couldn’t go through with it. Up till about a year or so ago I hadn’t figured out why I didn’t go through with killing myself. Well now I can tell you this, that night God was looking out for one of His lost children. He sent His Holy Spirit to come save me from making one of the most terrible decisions of my life. I had forgotten where my power and strength were at and who they were from. I broke not because I wasn’t strong enough to fight my own battles but because I lost sight of who my protector and Father is. I had forgotten how to fight spiritually rather than physically.

Depression and suicide are very real things and are the result of humans forgetting where their power and strength to fight each and everyday come from. They come from the One who made it all, the One who took nothing and made it something, Our Father, our Healer, our Protector, the Almighty God, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit.

For those of you that are struggling with self worth, depression, feeling alone, not felling loved, you aren’t alone. There is hope and there is a future. I wrote this to be able to reach people out there that are struggling with this. I am an example of what God can do. I went from wanting to die to becoming comfortable in a church. I started serving again, which is something I love to do, and I am still alive and breathing all because of our ever-loving Father and the plans He had for me. My strength and power come from the Lord and sometimes from my friends. God has surrounded me with some really amazing people. They have shown me what it means to be a friend and what it means to have true friends. Ones that don’t just walk out of your life and hurt you. Those people have stuck their necks out for me on multiple occasions and have loved me even when I am a butt to them.

Life will get hard at different points in your life but seek out God and seek out His plans for your life. When you do that He will open the door and show you some amazing things. There is power and strength in knowing where your Sword is during the hard times. It is easy to just want to quit and give up but it takes strong people to do the work of the Lord and to do it faithfully.

My hope it that this reaches anyone that reads this. You are not alone. This is not an easy subject to talk about nor write about, I had kept it hidden for so long but God has been showing me that it was time to tell part of my story, to reach the broken hearted, the lost, and the people that are hurting that haven’t fully given up.

All the praise from my life goes to God and only God. If He wasn’t the loving God that He is, I would be dead right now. He had different plans and I had a purpose that I wasn’t sure about. Most of my life I have struggled with my identity in Christ but now I can truly say that I am a daughter of God, I am a servant of God, I am worth it to God and to people and so are you. You are all children of God, Loved by God and are worth it to God. That is why He sent His son to die for us, so that we could have a way out and hope for the future.

Have you ever been torn between so many things that you don’t know what to do anymore? Have you ever been pushed to the breaking point and just don’t know where to go or where you are supposed to be? Well maybe this post can help lead you into a direction that maybe you didn’t think was even possible.

I graduated on December 17, 2016 and long before that date I had been determined to go back to the place where all my friends were at. Back to the place where I was finally getting comfortable and where I felt safe. I had a support system with my friends and people in the community but unfortunately I didn’t have the support I wanted from my family.  My parents were dead set on me not going back, but I had my heart determined to go back to that place. The place where my heart was at, the place that I had something that I was blessed with and didn’t want to give it up so soon. Let me go on a little rabbit trail to explain what I was blessed with, and how it changed my walk with Christ!

When I first started my last semester of college in August, I met a young lady during her Freshman Orientation that would change how I viewed faith and trust, especially those two aspects with our Ever-Loving, Ever-Faithful, and Never-Leaving,  Father. Little did I know that I was going to change part of her as well. As the school year started and only by God’s Hands’ we (the young lady and I) became friends. We spent close to 5  or 6 hours in our dorm’s prayer room one night just talking. I went up there because I could see that something was bugging her and just wanted to make sure she was okay. I can not tell you why I went up there other than God was leading me to. I am normally quit shy around people, especially new people. I do not like to be outgoing, but this situation was different, I already slightly knew this young lady and so I kind of felt comfortable going and checking on her. And that was the night that started the wheels turning into my life changing. I am so insecure with my life and don’t like take charge in any aspect of it. And this is where the story of God moving really begins.

That night in the prayer room that young lady torn down all the walls that I had worked so hard to build. God was with her leading her to answer all the fear, worries, and insecurities that I had with scripture. The answers she kept giving me, I just didn’t want to except them, I kept trying to push her out of my head. I didn’t want to be friends with her, all I wanted to do was check on her. I had been hurt so many times by friends that I just didn’t want any, I wanted to be alone because that was where I felt safe. No one could hurt me if I was all alone in my life, however being lonely isn’t what I would call fun. In all reality I wanted someone to love me, I needed some one to push me in the direction of God. By this time I had started to revert back to my old ways of not going to church, not reading my Bible and not having my one on one time with God. I had my one friend at the school, my best friend, and that was all I wanted, or so I thought. This young lady started to show me by her actions and her words who I was in Christ. What my identity is in Christ. I knew and believed that I was a Daughter of God and that God was my Father but that was really the extent of my belief in my identity in Christ. By God’s Hand and the young lady I started to believe that I was a treasure to God and to others, that I was something/someone worth fighting for. It took her a little while but she finally broke that last barrier down. Thanks to God and His wonderful Hands’ at play in both of our lives, along with her stubbornness; I finally started believing in myself and that God could use a person like me, to spread His word. Little did I know that God was also using me to show this young lady that she too was and is not alone. It was her first semester at college and the first time that she had been so far away from home, and not having her family near her to comfort her when things went astray. This past semester was one that I would not wish on any freshman, because so many things went wrong, but in the midst of all the things going wrong God’s Hands’ were still at play. I had been praying that God would bring more friends, more people into my life that would love me for me, and she had been praying that God would bring someone in her life to help her along the path that He was laying out for her. Through the mist of all the chaos there were so many good things that happened. People became closer friends than before, people became friends, it made some of us cherish what we had already been blessed with and for others it showed them that they truly need to rely on God’s strength and not their own. The only way we got through the chaos of this past semester was on God’s strength and power holding us up. God being the Faithful God that He is, fulfilled both of our prayers, I just didn’t realize that He had fulfilled my second prayer until it was almost time to graduate.

Now the reason I went on the rabbit trail was because of this. I was torn between going back to the place that I had been so blessed with finding people I could call friends, and doing what my family wanted me to do. I was so dead set on going back that I couldn’t hear what God was telling me or trying to show me. I had my heart and mind set on going back. The other day on the way to my dentist appointment, I got into a fight with God. I broke down in my car, cried and yelled at God cause I couldn’t decide what I needed to be doing with my life. It was at that breaking point that God told me what my role is in life. What I was made to do and what my heart longs for is to serve. Little did I know that serving doesn’t always have to be in ministry, by doing hat God has called you to do is serving. We are serving God everyday that we chose to put our feelings aside and following what God has planned, what He has in store for our lives. After I had my breakdown and fight, I prayed that God with open the doors to show me where I was meant to be, not where I wanted to be. I believe He answered that prayer, just at the time I was being a stupid kid and didn’t want to acknowledge it. The answer wasn’t what I wanted, nor what I had expected. I had applied for a job near home and hadn’t gotten an email for almost a week and a half to two weeks. Then that night, after praying that prayer in the afternoon, I looked at my email and I had gotten an email from the job. The owner/chapter director stated this in the email, “I took a look at your resume and it appears you would be a great fit for our team.” This was the door that was being open, the answer to the prayer asking God to show me where I am supposed to be. At the time I was being a stupid child and didn’t want to even think of staying here. After having a couple days to remissness, think, having council with friends and God, I have come to the realization that I can still serve with this job, just not in the way I was expecting. God gave a desire long ago to work with kids, to be able to share the knowledge and skill I have acquired to give back to children. He is also showing me that there is a purpose in my life to serve Him and to serve in a field that I am skilled in. As hard as it is to let go and say goodbye to the place that I was comfortable in, this is my goodbye. I need to follow God and what He has in store for my life. It took me a little while to even want to acknowledge to fact that I needed to let go and that was not where I needed to be. as a wise friend once told me, “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable, He calls us to come and follow Him.

So here is why this one is called “Believing God has a Plan for For Life” because through everything that may be happening in your life, you need to stop, take a breathe, say a prayer and ask God to show you the first step to the path He has already laid out for you. Then have the faith and trust that He will show you. That moment that you start to give yourself, all yourself; mind, soul and body over to Him is when He will show you. Something that I took from one of my pastors sermons was this, “sometimes God doesn’t give you the answer to a prayer right away because we aren’t ready for the answer.” I wasn’t ready for the answer that I wasn’t meant to go back, because my heart wasn’t ready for it and neither was my mind. When I broke down in the car that was when I gave everything to Him and that was when I could get the answer I was looking for. Granted it took me a little bit to fully acknowledge that the email I got was the door being open, it was the answer to my prayer. I had to look at it from a different perspective. Thank to my bestie, the young lady from before, and just sitting down in silence and seeking council with God; I finally have come to grips that home is where I am meant to be for now. God has your best interest at heart and sometimes you just have to follow Him and drop everything else. A few verses that kept showing themselves to me in varies ways were,

Proverbs 3:5-6, “(5) Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding; (6) in all ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 16:9, “(9) In their hearts humans pan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

Jeremiah 29:11 , “(11) ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’.”

Deuteronomy 31:8, “(8) The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do no be afraid; do no be discouraged.”

Thank you for reading, God Bless!

So I promised that I would give you all the first devotional that I have written, but first I need to give a little back story. During the Summer I had to take a summer class to count towards my credits to be able to graduate in December of 2016. The class was called Transformational Discipleship. Well little did I know that as part of this class I was going to be part of something really awesome. My professor, Dr. Clinton Lowin, decided to make me a part of a program called KALEO. It is where youth pastors or pastors send teens, from their church or surrounding churches, that are wanting to go into religion, leadership, or missionary work to help spread God’s word. The program is designed to help nurture what the teens already know and to challenge them to seek God. The teens spend the first part of their journey being mentored by their pastor for six months or so. Then they come to Wayland to start their wilderness journey and campus immersion. The teens would then spend two weeks in the Dominican Republic doing field work, getting a taste of spreading the Gospel oversees. So now that you all know the backstory let me get into my first written devotional.

The week before we were supposed to leave for the wilderness journey, I had leadership training with my fellow KALEO leaders. On I believe the third day of training Dr. Lowin asked me to prepare a devotional for our next meeting. The only criteria for the devotional was that it had to pertain to what we were getting ready to do with those teens.It also had to touch bases on separation, liminality and re-corporation. I said okay. To be honest I had no idea what I was doing or getting into. I asked my boss/friend Beth Hoffman what might be a good topic or book to use for the devotion. She had mentioned doing the devotional on Ezekiel 37:1-14, “The Valley of the Dry Bones.” I read the scripture and thought that I could use it. Beth also helped me form the devotion to fit the criteria. Below is my written devotional document word for word. I hope that when you all read it that it at least makes sense.

Ezekiel 37:1-14

Valley of the Dry Bones

What do you all think the bones represent? Why did God use Ezekiel?

Some people think or believe (and so do I) that it could be man’s spirituality without God.

The dry bones for us, the leaders of KALEO, could be these teens/young adults that we are going to be with in the wilderness.

When God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and tells them how God will restore them, is when they start to be restored. God could have done this on His own, but He chose to have Ezekiel help Him. Here is a question to ponder…..Why? When the bones have muscle (sinews) and skin they are still dead because they do not have breath. Ezekiel had to prophesy to the four winds of the earth and tell them to breathe into the bones. Only then that life and breathe came into the bones, and they became a great army.

To me the wind represents the Holy Spirit inside of us and we are His army. We can speak the Word of God to the dry bones (the teens/young adults). This next week (wilderness journey) we get to speak life to these teens, nurture them, and help them grow along the way.

Separation – verse two; “our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are cut off completely.” These teens are going to be separated from their friends, their family, and their comfort zones of home, to be nurtured. They are leaving behind their old self.

Liminality –  verse thirteen;  “You shall know that I am Lord,” the threshold over realizing who they are and who God really is. They will be finding their identities in Christ.

Re-corporation – when they come back from the wilderness journey, they can say they did it. They will have their new self. They will be set a part, like it says in verse twenty-eight , “The nations also will know that I, the Lord, sanctify (set apart) Israel, when My sanctuary is in their midst forevermore.”

Going back to Ezekiel – I think God chose Ezekiel because God wanted to show him His power, His glory, and His might. He wanted to work in Ezekiel to be able to work through him. Ezekiel spoke life and truth into the bones.

God is already working in us (KALEO leaders), but we need to believe that God will work through us. Also a thing to remember is we are being called to lead these teens/young adults, but at the same time God will use them as He used Ezekiel to help us grow as well.

I want to challenge you all going into this next week. Think of these teens/young adults as the dead bodies, and them needing the breathe to live. We are that breathe. We are here to speak the life to the, to help them along their journey. So as we draw closer, think of this story and how might we be like Ezekiel.

Well I started this blog site because I wanted to share my adventure of being out in the world God created. I have poorly done that. Hopefully in the next few weeks, I’ll post more and more stuff. I will get to the stories. I want to share my experiences because you never know, it may touch someones heart. So be looking for more posts.

So today is the day I have done a few first things in life. I haven’t started a blog, until today, and I hadn’t led a devotional, until today. I’m taking a summer class and my mom wanted to know the experiences that I am having, so I told her I would start a blog. In the next blog I will go in more detail about my class and what it is exactly that I am doing. I will also post the devotional that I did and got helped through. As this next week approaches and we head off to Glorieta, New Mexico, (we leave Saturday) to go hiking and camping in the wilderness for a week. I pray that God will give me strength and my team strength. We will be leading 12 teens/young adults in the wilderness and helping them grow in the Word of the Lord!! So excited to see God’s creation and to be apart of this journey!! #somethingnew  Blessings and Shalom!